http://www.last.fm/music/Hopetown+Lewis

amoravel

Anna Kharina

Wer ist nur auf diese Absurde Idee gekommen, es würde sich verbrauchen, es wäre begrenzt, geh sorgsam damit um, eines Tages ist nichts mehr davon da. Als ob man mit 90 nichts mehr Empfinden würde.

Und der Umstand des Aufhören, der Veränderung, ob es sich je beruhigen wird. Kann mich nicht ablenken. Es ist in mir, es ist im Nacht Bus von Sao Paulo nach Rio, schlaflos an hunderten Hotels vorbei. Es ist hier, in dieser Besetzung, in diesem Muster aus flicken, in diesem Raum, nur gestaltet, verändert, nach dem wenigen, nach dem minimalem, dem Wichtigen.

Es ist die Konsequenz, es ist alles nur die Konsequenz der Unaufhörlichkeit. Es bleibt in mir. Egal in welcher Form, in welcher Größe, in welchen Umfang und mit welchen Ausgang. Egal wie das hier und jetzt ist, wie die Gesichte gelaufen ist. Es bleibt. Und lass es hunderte sein.

Und was ich hier nicht ertragen kann, ist der Ausgang, diese Unmöglichkeit. Als ob ich aufhören würde zu Empfinden. Als ob es euch nicht mehr Betreffen würde.

Und du, du Unbekanntes. Setzt dich neben mich und lausch der Stille. Ein Jahr ohne ein Wort. Ohne ein gesprochenes Wort. Ohne einen Menschen der Verstehen würde. Ich kann euer Schweigen nicht mehr ertragen. Das Schweigen was ich ständig ernte. Ich kann mein Schweigen nicht mehr Ertragen. Mein Schweigen über mich. Die Helden der Still in ständiger Inkonsequenz.

Und ich überlege das Schweigen zu brechen. Überlege ob ich die schmerzen Ertrage. Den Ausgang etwas ändern, zumindest Wissen das es verstanden wird. Zumindest irgendwie die Unmöglichkeit etwas besser begreifen? Zumindest wissen wie es Euch geht, zumindest Wissen das Ihr liebt.

Mein Schweigen ist nur die Gewissheit das bisher niemand ähnlich Empfunden hat. Niemand hat an sich geglaubt, meist glaubten sie nur den anderen.

Wir sitzen in dem lieben Café und ich schweige. Und ich hätte Stunden erzählen können, am Ende hättet Ihr vielleicht Verstanden, hättet euch um eine Lösung bemüht. Vielleicht hätte ich auch Geheimnissen gelauscht, die ich schon ewig gespürt habe. Aber könnt Ihr meine Angst verstehen, wieder nur Schweigen zu ernten?

Ich erkläre, und man schweigt, ich frage, und man schweigt, ich bitte um Antwort, und man schweigt, ich schweige, und man hört nicht mal zu.

© Dusdin Condren

my time (by deandromagica)

Anahi Eleuterio

Katarina Smuraga

unhappyhipsters:

Isolation had become their survival strategy.

(Photo: Roger Davies, Dwell, October/November 2004)

Yuke yuke nidome no shojo (1969)

It’s like something dies in a culture. Something dies and something comes, filling the void. This is the edge.

feminismisforlovers:

mnikka:

(via fuckyeahfemmes)

I was going through the presentation “code of our own” that talked about woman and code and different ways of learning programming. Under the pictures of slide 14 it says:

“Boys tend to be incompetent together and figure stuff out in the early teenage years without shame. Consider starting a band as an example. Girls are socially rewarded at that age for demonstrating competence, maturity, not looking stupid. We can work on that skill now, as adults, with respect.”

Beside the wide range of very different (social) issues mentioned here, (the major one being puberty?!), the named incompetence between teenage boys made me wonder about the perception.

So how did some nerdy boys from the 80’s learn all the fancy assembler skills, cracking game copy protections and writing code? Short answer: With a friend.

If i ask around in my male coder circles, the majority of people had the following introduction into the world of computers.

1. First encounter: Father got a computer, a class mate’s father had a computer etc…
2. Playing around with the machine, being interested in the machine itself and what it can do. Reading manuals and books, spending hours and hours in front of it.
3. Play around with the computer together with a good friend. This usually became a major peak in the learning curve and you often exchanged experiences, new features, functions and other findings.

After one or two years of programming in different languages, you gained enough basic knowledge about the computer, how it works and how everything builds upon each other. This became the base for every new learning process in the future.

These two years are usually filled with exchange. With, “can you try if this runs on your computer?”, “did you try this version?”, “did you notice this feature?”. Developing software always involved other people, even so the coding itself was something you did alone at night - the lack of distractions helps to concentrate.

The presentation also mentions the fear of exposing the “not knowing” to a larger group of people. This totally applies for all genders and might be the main reason for learning with a good friend - because you could ask the questions and exchange without any embarrassment.

I totally see that working in a small group is a very efficient way of learning. Writing an application together, to have a specific task that everyone can work on. I spent the last week at a wonderful hacker squat. The exchange is always astonishing, to inspire each other, to share and gain knowledge, to meet new people. It’s no surprise that hackerspaces become so successful.

However, in the context of the current discourse of woman in open source, i sincerely ask for more differentiations. I totally agree with the existence of all issues. But there are multiple questions to ask:

• What are gender issues?
• What are social issues?
• What are group issues?
• What are the specific issues with “male hackers” and their behaviors?

A clear separation is needed. I fear that in the process of getting more genders into the IT world, we might build up more walls between them. Please, let us tear them down instead.

ps: Yes, i am afraid i did not see the related actual talk of that presentation :(

Let’s continue the little movie review from the Rotterdam Film Festival.

Today i saw Adrift and Air Doll, who both have love / sex in contrast to our society as topic. Even so both Asian, they come from totally different perspectives.

Air Doll by Hirokazu Koreeda from Japan, is all about the emptiness, the non-feeling, the heartless artificial surface and the lack of any emotional substance. The fear to feel, the possible calculated risk of getting hurt.

Koreeda also made the wonderful “Nobody Knows” and one of my all time favorites, “Maborosi”. It’s again a very solid good work and lets the audience think about common problems in the society. The air doll sex toy as metaphor for the empty human beings.

From the absolute opposite direction came Adrift (Choi voi, 2009), a viatnames movie by the rather new director Chuyên Bui Thac. It portraits a young married couple and their relationships to other men and woman. Their environments, desires, emotions and adventures.

It wasn’t really the intensity of the emotions, but rather the wide range of different situations, unique characters and authentic story telling, that made this movie so moving. A constant change, always development and even the small characters become a certain depth in this progress. The sensibility for the characters was astonishing and quite remarkable for the current times. A sensibility you only see in very few movies, like La Strada for example.

The director was available for Q&A and provided some background information. The topic of desires and sexuality is rather privat in the Vietnamese culture, and Adrift is intentionally hitting that nerve. Also, his portray of very strong female, and rather weak male characters divided the Vietnamese audience.

Last but not least, the soundtrack is a wonderful mixture of modern instruments with classic Vietnamese folk music. Something i have never heard before.

Trailer and more for Choi voi.